Really a side ways baby gate???  Yeah I'm pretty sure this is not OSHA approved.

"How does something like this even happen?! Helping the in laws around the house is seriously scarring my psyche."

Ping Pong for one?

"Looks like hvac tape holding on cardboard painted green to match. Awesome!"

It's hard to tell which tape this is but regardless they make both in red which would match the truck better.

I would think this would attract more baseball bats then an actual mailbox base.