If your going to steal the salt and pepper packets then at least open them up and fill the containers.  I bet the containers were stolen.

I would hate to be the car that rear-ends this truck, you'll be picking splinters out of your face.

"The old car stereo knobs were getting warn out so my wife super glued beer caps on them."

So lets get this straight, letters go in the top mailbox and junkmail and bills go in the bottom, k thanx!

Spooning in a public bathroom is never a good idea, yuck!

Why buy an expensive razor when all you need is the blade?