With a cork and a rubber band you can make just about any kitchen utensil into a tong.

Is it bad that I hope he hits a speed bump and falls off his chair?

"My husband made me a table out of old jeans.  The legs are simply 2x4's with some fluff added to give them bulk."

Great idea until someone bumps into the wall hard and you get hit in the head with the ball.

Oh yeah that is safe, I'm sure that low everyone will see it.

Now that baby carrier will give you a work out.  I don't know if I would trust the handle on the bucket.