I guess if you have to own a craptastic old phone you might as well decorate it in classy purple duct tape. 

"This is how you ventilate your truck in Texas"

Now how bad would this suck?  I hope he has good insurance!

You can never get enough red duct tape tail lights.  OK guess the state?

"Broken bumper being held up by a rope tied to the roof rack. Found in the Goodwill parking lot in Salina, KS,"

Yet another reason to keep those flimsy thin metal coat hangers.  "definitely a redneck repair, even for Hawaii...."